Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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