She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
