He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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