smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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