Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
