My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
