I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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