My hair reeks of homosexuality.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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