Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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