Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
