quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize