her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
