physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
