Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
