With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
