New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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