loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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