His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
