You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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