Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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