I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize