Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
