dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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