I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
