tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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