I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
