Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
