I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
