Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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