My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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