Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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