You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
