The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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