Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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