There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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