Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
