im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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