I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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