i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
