I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
