fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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