I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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