I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
