Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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