just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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