Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
