I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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