She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
