I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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