last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
