I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
