I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
