I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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