Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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