First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
