I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
