im about as happy as oj after his trial
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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