somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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