we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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