Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
