Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize