he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
