Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
