No awkward lesbian experiences without me
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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