home. puking in laundry basket.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
