Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It was like giving head to a cactus.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
